Let’s Get Intimate

This week explores the theme of intimacy, featuring a piece from Juli Del Prete.

1)

Detachment Theory

by Juli Del Prete

I. Do not immediately respond to their text messages. Imagine that you are in a video game, and you gain 1 HP (“health point”) for each minute of inaction. Soon you will be bulletproof.

II. Plan dates that remind them of the impermanence of all things.
Toolkit: flowers plucked and left unwatered, wandering in graveyards, Nietzsche.

III. Once you have named someone you have tamed someone so it is best to assign them an alternate referential title.
Examples include: “Yale Boy,” “Red Scarf,” “Scabies”

IV. Remain silent and still during intimate encounters. “Always keep them guessing,” said Coco Chanel, I think.

V. Never relinquish custody of the aux cord. You do not truly know a person until you give them control of your car stereo, they turn on Dashboard Confessional, oh no, they’re crying, oh no, you’re crying, hands down this is the best day you can ever remember

VI. There is no need to be chill. This is 2017. We are post-chill. Sit in your freezer for three days. Become ice.

VII. A breakup is not necessary. “Always keep them guessing,” said Coco Chanel, I think. In any case, a simple “be right back” will do.

VIII. Do not come back.

IX. Ease the heartache by reminding yourself of the impermanence of all things.
Toolkit: flowers plucked and left unwatered, wandering in graveyards, Nietzsche.

X. Immortalize them in the written word: an exorcism.

XI. Post it on the Internet. Share it with others. It is their burden now. Maybe you’re reading this and it reminds you of someone. Your ex? No, not your ex: you never dated. You never broke up. You said you’d be right back. Where did you leave them? Where did you go?

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2)

Suddenly home

by Alex Gudding

What is delicacy
When I’ve had your blood on me

Does it evolve beyond recognition
And reliability

It is more brutal, now
This sharing of fluid

This heaving in the lungs
When we trade a cough

Does the body intimate
Actually imitate

A shyer side
Of crashing muscles

Not violence, no
But it’s cousin, suddenly home

There’s no glamour
In holding hair back

In shaving armpits
Or piss in the toilet

But there’s honesty
In an open-door policy

Leading, after a number
Of days and days and days and days

To eventually become
One another’s hymnal

train

 

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